Training wheels

A couple of weeks ago, Jesh (our good friend who is just slightly older than Bennett) started riding his bike with no training wheels.  When Austin heard that, he was a bit in awe and suddenly had a desire to  take his training wheels off.  We have been talking for months about when it might be time, but I knew this would be a big challenge for Austin.  My oldest is too much like me I think... timid when it comes to risky physical challenges and a lot like Chris in his perfectionism and hatred of doing it "wrong".  I told him he WOULD fall down when he is learning and he needs to be prepared for that.  And it WOULD feel scary at times, but it was worth it in the end for the joy of riding a bike.

So he went with Chris one or two times and rode about 10 seconds at the most before falling. I took him out and he made it 25 seconds.  He went again with Chris and did about 30 seconds.  Then the next time I took him out, he just stalled and stalled.  Finally he said he was just too scared to try and afraid of falling and he would not even try.  That was not a good day for either of us.  Since then, he has made excuses and not gone out for over a week. We went to the park last week and Bennett took his bike (which he is still learning to ride with training wheels) and Austin had some regret in not bringing his bike to try.

So today was a beautiful, low pollution Sunday.  We convinced everyone to go outside in the afternoon and Austin was ready to try.  And here is how it went.

He wanted to just walk his bike in our neighborhood as we headed to the park across the street.  We tried a couple of times to get him to ride.  We heard a lot of "but what about that rock, I might run into it. But I have to wait until those people are gone (as if that ever happens in China!), but what about..."

 We finally got to the big, flat area in the park that seemed a good place to try.  He was very anxious in the beginning, swerving left and right and adamant that Chris could not let go.

 And we had quite a few of these spills.  However, somewhere in here something changed.

 He had a couple small successes and a couple falls that were not that bad, and his confidence grew.  Suddenly he was riding...

 And riding...

And riding away on his own!

 After that, his fear seemed to leave him.  He had a few more falls and has a lot of trouble stopping.  He still can't get started on his own.  But he liked it.  And had fun.  And rode most of the way home.  And he said "This is so fun.  I am not scared anymore. I'm glad I tried it." We were so proud of him.  He didn't fuss.  He started in fear but finally needed just a little success to keep going.  At one point we were talking about courage.  I said "Austin, courage is trying something while you are feeling afraid.  It is ok to feel afraid."  His response "I know courage comes from a French word.  I learned that at church".  Chris and I laughed ...just like his daddy and his Bop...lover of words.

In all of this, I have been reflecting a lot.  All of us in our family have been learning new things lately.  Lucy finally learned to walk, Bennett is (sometimes) trying to learn to ride his bike, Chris and I just had to learn how to drive a stick shift car in a place that is, well, challenging to drive around.  But more than that, I was thinking how much I am like Austin with my Heavenly Father in so many challenges I face. Health crises. Cultural challenges.  Raising children.  I am afraid and I whine and fuss for awhile.  Then I might even refuse to try because I don't want to fall down or fail. Then I don't want Him to let go while I attempt, even though like Chris today, my Father will never leave my side. He might let me take a spill, but He is always right there to pick me up.  I know Austin learned a big lesson today.  Hopefully I can too.  And allow my Father to push me to take off my training wheels and try, and trust, for the joy of really riding this life journey with Him.

And March is marching on...

Wow this month crawled and flew by...crawled in waiting for news and updates from home and flew with life with three little ones.  SO many of you have asked about Grace and prayed and are still praying. THANK YOU!  Please keep praying, but know many prayers have already been answered.  Grace went home from the NICU one week ago.  She graduated completely off the feeding tube and is able to breast and bottle feed exclusively now!  Her pediatrician also said her muscle tone really looks good and the low tone is not easily detectable.  All good news.  There is still a lot of waiting and still no conclusive diagnosis without test results back yet.  DNA tests take a looooong time, at least weeks feel like years when you are waiting on these kind of things.  However, she has definitely made improvements.  We got to SKYPE with her recently and now a big issue is...she does not like to sleep in her bed. Yeah for "normal" new baby problems... but do pray she will sleep in her bed soon. Please do keep praying for good news from all the DNA tests and God's healing hand to be upon her. There are still many unknowns about the future (isn't there always but sometimes we forget and feel more in control than we really are).

In other news, here are some highlights of March.

 The boys playing with our next door neighbor (11 year old girl) in our backyard.  I have been praying for awhile we could befriend her and be more friendly with our neighbors. For several reasons this was challenging but thankful through children we have had a few times together.

 Miss Captain America...seriously cute.  This girl is such a ham!

 They never tire of making Lego creations...usually with a space or rocket theme lately from Austin.  He was so proud and wanted a picture.

 A sweet, sweet visit from a dear friend...my long time student friend from our days in the south. We met when she was 16 and a college freshman, soon became a dear sister and now eleven years later is engaged to a German guy, a teacher and doing so well.  She came through our city and stayed with us for 4 days...I am so so encouraged by her life and it was fun for her to meet my youngest two kids for the first time.

 My birthday...the boys got me a globe to go with homeschool.  Chris gave me a pressure cooker and an online subscription to my favorite newspaper.  Chris and Angie made me key lime pies and I had a night out with my girlfriends to Starbucks.  Well celebrated. I am starting to be at the age where I just want to forget how old I am though...ha.

 Homeschool with 3..Bennett now goes to Chinese school in the afternoon.  Halleluia for only one carpool a day.  However, it has been an adjustment trying to homeschool Austin, find homeschool work for Bennett to stay occupied and keep Lucy content without her early morning nap.  Let's just say it is more chaos than organization at this point.  But if you can't tell, Bennett is doing great with handwriting! His specialty.

 And what everyone expects from a March post...snow. Oh wait. Well, the first day of spring brought six inches of beautiful snow, that thankfully has melted quickly.  There are piles left in the shadier spots in our neighborhood but it is mostly gone.  I am ready to put away the winter coats...but probably won't for another few weeks.  Just in case.

 It was really beautiful...I think freezing rain came first, which made everything stick to the branches, brought a beautiful blue sky and did chase the pollution away. So I cannot complain.

 Snowball.

Our little nut.  He predictably was ready to go home ten minutes after going out. (Bennett if you cannot tell).

March 5

March 5 did not come quietly for my family.  It marked the one year anniversary of my grandfather's death, a day of remembering a wonderful man we loved.  And as we reflected on his life and our loss, we joyfully welcomed a new member into the family, Eliza Grace.  We rejoice with my sister Charlotte and John as they welcome this precious little one to the world.

But all is not as it should be.  We knew before her birth that she would be born with club feet, a condition that can usually be treated very successfully.  But the morning after her birth, doctors noted that she had low muscle tone that was affecting her ability to swallow among other things.  She has been moved to a Children's Hospital and is in the NICU while tests are done and results of what this could mean is waited for. There are many unknowns at this point, more unknowns than things known.  She was placed on a feeding tube though we rejoice that in the past couple of days she has taken a bottle and shown improvement in her swallowing.  

This was my favorite birthday card this year!

I cannot fully understand what Charlotte and John are experiencing, though as a mom of three I can certainly imagine.  In times like this when things are not as they should be, when the reality of a sin stained planet hits home more than usual, when questions arise that normally are shoved to the outer regions of my brain, I can only turn to the One who created Grace.  As are they, I know.  I can only pray Romans 8 over and over, even when I want to question it.  That our present sufferings cannot outweigh the glory to come.  The solace to come.  That He who did not spare his own Son will He not also graciously give us all things.  That He does work good out of bad, out of what should NOT be.  That if He is for us, who or what can be against us.  That NOTHING can separate us from His love.  Not trials or sickness or fear.  Even though sometimes I want to ask, "really?  Is that really true?"  Though there are moments in times like this when it feels less true, there are actually more for me that have felt more true.

Thanks to many of you who have been praying.  I ask you to continue praying.  Please pray for healing for Grace, for HIS grace to be upon her.  That her muscle tone would be completely restored.  For the ability to eat and breathe with no problems.  For the ability to breastfeed.  For results of many tests to come back quickly (some can take two weeks) and to be able to clearly understand what is going on and that it would be good news.  For strength for Charlotte and John, especially for Charlotte who just birthed a baby, today was running a fever, for freedom from anxiety, physical strength and ability to rest and know God's presence strongly.

Isn't she beautiful?