Privacy and projection

I am really proud of Austin. In the past couple of weeks, he has suddenly started doing a lot of things on his own...things I have been trying to get him to do for months (because I know he is capable) but that he has continued to want me to do for him. For example, this morning Austin took off his pajamas and wet diaper and put on clean underwear himself, all before I even got out of bed. He also wants to go the bathroom by himself now. It is such a strange, sudden change. He has refused to go by himself, even pulling his pants up and down for so long. Now, he wants PRIVACY. He says "mommy, don't come in. I need privacy." He will shut the door, pull pants up and down, do his business and (sometimes) wash his hands. Well, at least for #1. The good news, he is actually doing #2 in the potty now pretty consistently too. He will now take his shoes and jacket off with no complaining (really, even though he is 3 he used to ALWAYS fuss and want me to take his shoes and jacket off) when we come inside. It is so nice!

I think Bennett will probably do these things much earlier than Austin did. He is the second, so he already sees Austin doing these things and he is such a different personality. If I ask Bennett if he wants to go outside, he will already run to get his shoes or if he sees me with his socks or shoes he will sit down by the door and put his feet up. He also loves the bath and brushing his teeth and if i say "bath" or "teeth" he takes off running to the bathroom saying "bath, bath" or "teeth, teeth". He is at such a cute stage.

Back to Austin. The other thing he is doing that is a little unsettling to me but probably very normal is projecting his feelings on others. He WILL NOT admit if he is hurt, sad, scared or most negative emotions. So like I mentioned he won't admit he misses Chris but he often says "Mommy, Bennett misses Daddy". Today he said "what does it mean to miss?" and i said it means to wish they were here and be excited when they will come back and you can be sad but you can be happy and still miss someone. "I don't miss Daddy" was the response. So I said "Do you wish Daddy was here?" Austin "Yes" "Are you excited for him to come home?" Austin "Yes" "So you DO miss Daddy" Austin "No, I don't".

Today during rest time there was a sudden VERY loud drilling noise right upstairs. It actually really startled me at first. I expected Austin to immediately come out of the room, afraid. But he didn't. So I waited a few minutes and then when it kept going I went to check on him. He was laying straight and stiff on the floor (well, he was "sleeping" on a little comforter on the floor- his choice) holding blue puppy, with big tears streaming out of his eyes. I asked him if he was scared and did he want to get up with me and he said (in between little sobs) "I'm not scared Mommy. Blue puppy is scared" He sat on my lap and kept saying (in between crying) "it's ok, blue, it's ok. it's just a noise it won't hurt you". It was so sad but sweet. He has been getting better about noises but this one really was awful. It took him awhile to recover. But also demonstrated his projection of his feelings onto someone (or something) else. Is this normal? I have no idea, but he is funny about his feelings. Hopefully he will learn to express them as his own one of these days. It is funny though how even at such a young age it is our natural instinct to want to hide difficult feelings or not admit them.