A lump of coal

I am not sure where the traditional "lump of coal" for the naughty children tradition came from, but I realized what a different view of that I find here.  I recently reconnected with a small orphanage I had volunteered at a few times my first year in this city.  Back in 2007, this orphanage had just been started by some local moms who had a burden for orphans with medical challenges.  Big challenges usually, but ones that could be treated and hopefully help these children have a shot at being adopted.  I lost touch with them after birthing 2 more children and after they moved far away in the city. But I recently discovered they had moved back to my area of town and have been wanting to see their situation and how our family might be involved.

Austin and I went Tuesday morning... a mere three subway stops away.  It is in a very run down area, but once we were inside the gate we discovered they actually had a large-ish stand alone house with a yard.  This place has now grown to have around 45 kids, all with special medical needs.  After talking with a woman who works there, we were allowed to observe and play with a large group of the kids.  Most of the ones we saw were young...between one and four years old.  I was very impressed with the care they get, but still there were always at least one or two crying and needing more help than hands available.  When they went outside, they were dressed in whatever coat looked like it might fit from the big coat bin. Austin was so excited to go and said before "I will play with all the kids" but once we got there he was understandably a bit overwhelmed.  Some of the kids were happy to be held, some obviously preferred their known ayi and wanted nothing to do with us strangers.  One boy who smiled and stuck with me the whole time I was there once I held him looked about 2 and 1/2 to me, but seemed developmentally about where Lucy was.  Before leaving he waved goodbye and I discovered from a worker that he was 5 years old. Probably has little hope of being adopted.

In situations like these the needs always seem overwhelming and you feel so small and helpless to change the tide of abandoned and needy children without families.  But I also discovered my desire to help doesn't always go along with what the needs really are and what is most helpful.  I asked them "...what do you need?  How can we help? " They said honestly they don't need people to come in and play with the kids that much, as much as that might be what I want to do.  Outsiders bring germs, are strangers and it takes a lot of time to know each kids unique needs. They have plenty of toys and clothes.  But what they really need are help with ongoing expenses and daily living needs.  The biggest need this winter?

Coal.  Yes, lumps and lumps of coal are what they most need to heat the large house in this cold weather.  While coal is the cheapest source of heat around( and yes, not good for environment or for breathing, but it heats the water system that heats the floor of the house) they still spend close to a thousand dollars on heat per month.  Plus food and the ebb and flow of hospital visits, medicine and surgeries that most of the children need at one time or another.

It was good to see the faces of the needy, good for Austin to see the sad reality some children face, good for my heart to hold that little five year old boy.  But that is not what these children need the most.  For now, they need coal and gifts from our rich pockets.  Of course, what they really need are families. Families to love them and belong to.  I struggle often to want to bless others in tangible ways, yet often don't know how or want to do it in my own way or the way that gives me a "do-good" buzz to be completely honest. But I was struck with knowing the needs are overwhelming, but the cost of really helping is not occasional.  It takes a LOT.  More than I can give to this place at this stage of my life.  However, my other thought that I have had often over the years, is that what they really need is a family.  Chris and I have struggled and prayed about this and we still are.  We don't know God's desire for our family or if adoption is what He is calling us to.  But we know He might be.  We are willing or want to be willing. Austin asked me later if we will ever adopt a child.  (He also asked lots of other questions like " Will you ever not be able to take care of me?  What if you and Daddy die, what happens to us?" and fun questions like that I tried to answer as best as I could.)
I told Austin we pray about this and invited him to pray about it too.  We don't have answers for the long term, but for now our family does want to bless this orphanage with coal for the winter.  As many lumps as we can for Christmas.

Third day of snow here today...I kept Bennett home from school and we had a "snow day".  Lots of fun for us...but certainly cold for so many here without good heat.