Outside Country People 外国人: It's Friday

Today is Good Friday. Easter has snuck up on me this year so quickly. I decided we had better do some Easter activities at the beginning of the week, so we tried a painting project. But before you might begin to be impressed or think this was all fun and happiness, I will give you the

"real" version. We were making potato Easter stamps that looked like eggs and crosses. It started out ok- for the first 5 minutes.

This is Austin's finished product. It looks very nice I think- but it was a LONG road to get here. He was upset that the potato slipped as he made his first stamp. Frustrated that the colors mixed. Wanted to throw it out and start over. And on and on. After 15 minutes I was ready to send him away and my emotions were ...not calm.

Then they upped the ante a bit. Bennett's work. Also very nice.You probably can't notice in the picture but the right corner is very wet. Lucy accidently knocked the dirty paint water over- all over Bennett, his picture, his pants and the floor. Crying and screaming ensued from all directions, including mine. I might have even yelled "We are never painting again" by the end. Honestly it is not the mess so much as the crying and whining and inability to cope with mistakes that put me completely over the edge.

I realize how often I want to make a holiday or whatever time special, but end up getting angry and feeling out of control puts me over the edge and cancels out any fun we might have had. In the end, I had to confess my anger to the kids and they were gracious to forgive me. I concluded the most "Easter" thing about it all was clearly demonstrating Mommy's need for the gospel. I have been learning a lot about how daily, daily I need his grace and acceptance and so often start from a place of thinking I "should" be better at this by now. But this Friday I am thankful that Sunday is coming, the day we celebrate the glorious day when all is finished and triumphant. Thankful that as parenting strips me from any illusion that I might have had it together or been growing more holy- HE is perfect and holy and covers it all.

Today, Friday, we tried again to do something for Easter involving potential mess.

We did have a purple dye disaster (again, Lucy spilled something all over poor Bennett and his egg) but we all seemed to handle it a bit better this time. Especially Mommy. As I take deep breaths and remember it does not depend on me getting everything under control. Or convincing my kids that mess is ok. Or that my mess is ok. It is not ok, but it is not up to me to get it all cleaned up.