Visitors

This past week we have had the privilege of seeing three different friends from the U.S. who are passing through. The first was my great friend and mentor from college, Beth. We got to have dinner with her as she passed through on her way back to the States. She had never met the boys, but they became fast friends. She brought some fun presents (like glow in the dark stickers, those little gel capsules that dissolve in water into a shape and other things) and Austin wanted her to spend the night.

Austin refused to pose, but Bennett didn't mind. Has it really been 10 years since I graduated from college?

It was great to catch up (the last time I saw her was the weekend I found out I was pregnant with Austin) and hang out for a bit. The next day we also saw two different friends who both lived in this city with us but now have moved back. I like living in a city where many people pass through on their way in or out...it is a nice way to get to connect.

In other news...Sunday (yesterday, March 14) it SNOWED AGAIN! I mean, it snowed all day, big, huge flakes pouring down. I taught Sunday School, so i had to go to church. Fortunately we found a cab right away (I prayed for it!) and caught a ride with neighbors home, but it was such a a mess out. Today was sunny and some melted, but the ground is still covered. I cannot believe it. Chris left Saturday and we definitely miss him, but are doing ok. We made paper chain #2 to countdown till he returns (13 days this time!).

Happy Birthday to me

Thank you to everyone who wished me well on my birthday. Having Chris back was definitely a wonderful present! I celebrated over 2 days. My actual birthday, Chris had to work a bit. But in the evening he took the boys to buy me a present. Austin kept saying he wanted Daddy to take him to a "present shop" to buy my present (well, actually first he wanted me to take him to the present shop, but I said maybe it was better for Daddy to do it).

Then we met at our new mall's Pizza Hut for dinner. Pizza Hut was fun...maybe not my first choice for an ideal birthday dinner, but it was walkable from our house and everyone in the family likes pizza. As soon as Chris and the boys walked in, Austin marched right up to me and handed me the present he picked for me...

A blue pen! A really nice one. He was so excited to give it to me and kept asking if I would still have it when he turns four. It was really cute. Earlier he asked me what he should get me and I suggested flowers. He said "No, Mommy you don't want flowers! I think I should get you a cello." I had no idea what they would actually come up with.

Here I am with Bennett at Pizza Hut. He was hungry and getting impatient and it took awhile for our food to come. Chris walked around with him awhile and Bennett came back with a piece of garlic bread. Chris decided that is the best way for Bennett to find food- let him walk around and make friends with all the people in the restaurant...and people here LOVE to give food to kids. Don't worry, I don't encourage my kids to always take food from strangers. BUT it is really different here- people love kids(especially little blond ones) and love to shower them with gifts.

Daddy's home!

The boys kept climbing all over Chris...they couldn't stop. We were all so glad to have him back.

Austin was reading his paper chain links to Chris...telling him the things he likes about Daddy (I like to go to the donut shop with Daddy, I like Daddy's funny voices, I like to go to Daddy's concerts etc).

Austin was not happy about me taking his picture, but he was happy to read books with Daddy.

Yeah!

In like a Lion?

Remind me again, what is today's date? Because it sure doesn't seem to match this picture:

This was the scene that greeted us, today, March 8! Big, fluffly flakes came down all morning. It would have been perfect in December.

Catching March snowflakes on his tongue. They are not nearly as good as (Peanuts' )Lucy's January flakes.

Happy for a moment or two.

Austin loves the snow and has a good time in it. He gets cold eventually, but he likes it. Bennett on the other hand...well, see for yourself. He falls down a lot, hates getting any cold snow on him and doesn't like all the layers he has to wear. We managed to stay out almost 30 minutes before we all decided it was too cold and wet.

Austin giving kisses to Bennett before we headed out. They have been playing together more lately and it has been fun to watch.

The other news from here is that Chris gets home tomorrow night! We are all so excited. Austin has even admitted to missing Daddy a few times lately.

Privacy and projection

I am really proud of Austin. In the past couple of weeks, he has suddenly started doing a lot of things on his own...things I have been trying to get him to do for months (because I know he is capable) but that he has continued to want me to do for him. For example, this morning Austin took off his pajamas and wet diaper and put on clean underwear himself, all before I even got out of bed. He also wants to go the bathroom by himself now. It is such a strange, sudden change. He has refused to go by himself, even pulling his pants up and down for so long. Now, he wants PRIVACY. He says "mommy, don't come in. I need privacy." He will shut the door, pull pants up and down, do his business and (sometimes) wash his hands. Well, at least for #1. The good news, he is actually doing #2 in the potty now pretty consistently too. He will now take his shoes and jacket off with no complaining (really, even though he is 3 he used to ALWAYS fuss and want me to take his shoes and jacket off) when we come inside. It is so nice!

I think Bennett will probably do these things much earlier than Austin did. He is the second, so he already sees Austin doing these things and he is such a different personality. If I ask Bennett if he wants to go outside, he will already run to get his shoes or if he sees me with his socks or shoes he will sit down by the door and put his feet up. He also loves the bath and brushing his teeth and if i say "bath" or "teeth" he takes off running to the bathroom saying "bath, bath" or "teeth, teeth". He is at such a cute stage.

Back to Austin. The other thing he is doing that is a little unsettling to me but probably very normal is projecting his feelings on others. He WILL NOT admit if he is hurt, sad, scared or most negative emotions. So like I mentioned he won't admit he misses Chris but he often says "Mommy, Bennett misses Daddy". Today he said "what does it mean to miss?" and i said it means to wish they were here and be excited when they will come back and you can be sad but you can be happy and still miss someone. "I don't miss Daddy" was the response. So I said "Do you wish Daddy was here?" Austin "Yes" "Are you excited for him to come home?" Austin "Yes" "So you DO miss Daddy" Austin "No, I don't".

Today during rest time there was a sudden VERY loud drilling noise right upstairs. It actually really startled me at first. I expected Austin to immediately come out of the room, afraid. But he didn't. So I waited a few minutes and then when it kept going I went to check on him. He was laying straight and stiff on the floor (well, he was "sleeping" on a little comforter on the floor- his choice) holding blue puppy, with big tears streaming out of his eyes. I asked him if he was scared and did he want to get up with me and he said (in between little sobs) "I'm not scared Mommy. Blue puppy is scared" He sat on my lap and kept saying (in between crying) "it's ok, blue, it's ok. it's just a noise it won't hurt you". It was so sad but sweet. He has been getting better about noises but this one really was awful. It took him awhile to recover. But also demonstrated his projection of his feelings onto someone (or something) else. Is this normal? I have no idea, but he is funny about his feelings. Hopefully he will learn to express them as his own one of these days. It is funny though how even at such a young age it is our natural instinct to want to hide difficult feelings or not admit them.

One day at a time

We are plugging along here without Chris, but doing fine overall. We have had a couple of quiet days at home, which I think were needed after all our travel and Chris being gone. We went to the library today. We had not been there in over a month- maybe 6 weeks or more. It is always a bit of a challenge to help Austin find books or read to him while Bennett is running around pulling books from shelves and leaving wreckage behind him. Fortunately, he is cute and outgoing and eventually someone who works there will entertain him for a bit so I can help Austin. We also actually played outside today. I was hopeful for the first time that maybe spring is actually coming. While there is still snow on the ground and it is definitely chilly- it seemed warmer today. And we actually hear birds chirping a lot when we go outside. Bennett now likes to run around and loves sliding and climbing up the jungle gym.

Chris landed safely in Toronto, but the flight left late from here, so landed late and he missed the last flight out to NYC. So they put him up in a nice hotel and he will hopefully get there around 10:30 am Wednesday morning (US time). He won't miss anything with the delay, so that is good. We have already SKYPEd with him once. Austin has funny ways of expressing his more negative emotions...usually with denial. He got so excited to SKYPE, but then barely talked to Chris. This afternoon he was a little weepy and easily upset and I asked him if he missed Daddy. He got teary and a little quaver in his voice as he said "I don't miss him. I don't miss Daddy" But of course he does, especially after so much quality time last week. We think Austin's love language is quality time...he really likes a lot of time with us.

Well, I am off to bed.

March 1

Does anyone remember my November 1 post? I do. It snowed. On November 1 it was cold (the heat had not been turned on yet) but fun to see our first snow. HOWEVER, it is now March 1. And it snowed. To this southerner, March and snow should not be in the same sentence. However, despite the fact that yesterday ended the Spring Festival, spring is nowhere in sight. And the heat gets turned off on March 15. In fact, I think they have started to turn it down already, because on sunny day I wear a T shirt in the house, but today I had on 2 pants layers and 3 shirt layers and was still slightly chilly in the house (there was no sun, but still).

We sent Chris off early this morning. He is in town tonight at an overnight retreat, but we won't see him again till March 9. Austin and I made a countdown paper chain today. It is nine links of construction paper and on each link I wrote down something Austin likes about Daddy. I didn't think he would think of all of them, but he almost did. It is a good visual for the boys (well, mainly Austin) to take one off every day until Daddy gets home. My first day of being a single parent went pretty well, except for some coinciding major meltdowns around the magic hour of 5 pm. Hopefully I will sleep well tonight...I never sleep as well when Chris is gone.

Here is hoping spring comes soon!