Training wheels

A couple of weeks ago, Jesh (our good friend who is just slightly older than Bennett) started riding his bike with no training wheels.  When Austin heard that, he was a bit in awe and suddenly had a desire to  take his training wheels off.  We have been talking for months about when it might be time, but I knew this would be a big challenge for Austin.  My oldest is too much like me I think... timid when it comes to risky physical challenges and a lot like Chris in his perfectionism and hatred of doing it "wrong".  I told him he WOULD fall down when he is learning and he needs to be prepared for that.  And it WOULD feel scary at times, but it was worth it in the end for the joy of riding a bike.

So he went with Chris one or two times and rode about 10 seconds at the most before falling. I took him out and he made it 25 seconds.  He went again with Chris and did about 30 seconds.  Then the next time I took him out, he just stalled and stalled.  Finally he said he was just too scared to try and afraid of falling and he would not even try.  That was not a good day for either of us.  Since then, he has made excuses and not gone out for over a week. We went to the park last week and Bennett took his bike (which he is still learning to ride with training wheels) and Austin had some regret in not bringing his bike to try.

So today was a beautiful, low pollution Sunday.  We convinced everyone to go outside in the afternoon and Austin was ready to try.  And here is how it went.

He wanted to just walk his bike in our neighborhood as we headed to the park across the street.  We tried a couple of times to get him to ride.  We heard a lot of "but what about that rock, I might run into it. But I have to wait until those people are gone (as if that ever happens in China!), but what about..."

 We finally got to the big, flat area in the park that seemed a good place to try.  He was very anxious in the beginning, swerving left and right and adamant that Chris could not let go.

 And we had quite a few of these spills.  However, somewhere in here something changed.

 He had a couple small successes and a couple falls that were not that bad, and his confidence grew.  Suddenly he was riding...

 And riding...

And riding away on his own!

 After that, his fear seemed to leave him.  He had a few more falls and has a lot of trouble stopping.  He still can't get started on his own.  But he liked it.  And had fun.  And rode most of the way home.  And he said "This is so fun.  I am not scared anymore. I'm glad I tried it." We were so proud of him.  He didn't fuss.  He started in fear but finally needed just a little success to keep going.  At one point we were talking about courage.  I said "Austin, courage is trying something while you are feeling afraid.  It is ok to feel afraid."  His response "I know courage comes from a French word.  I learned that at church".  Chris and I laughed ...just like his daddy and his Bop...lover of words.

In all of this, I have been reflecting a lot.  All of us in our family have been learning new things lately.  Lucy finally learned to walk, Bennett is (sometimes) trying to learn to ride his bike, Chris and I just had to learn how to drive a stick shift car in a place that is, well, challenging to drive around.  But more than that, I was thinking how much I am like Austin with my Heavenly Father in so many challenges I face. Health crises. Cultural challenges.  Raising children.  I am afraid and I whine and fuss for awhile.  Then I might even refuse to try because I don't want to fall down or fail. Then I don't want Him to let go while I attempt, even though like Chris today, my Father will never leave my side. He might let me take a spill, but He is always right there to pick me up.  I know Austin learned a big lesson today.  Hopefully I can too.  And allow my Father to push me to take off my training wheels and try, and trust, for the joy of really riding this life journey with Him.